Notes on meditation #1
So continuing on my journey for calm I have gone for it and started to do some meditation. I’ve heard lots of people talk about it and never been entirely sure it would be for me. After hearing some trusted sources say how much of a difference it can make, I thought I would try it using the Calm app which interestingly has a Beginners section – it is obviously going to take a while to get the hang of it…
For anyone who has yet to try meditation, it definitely helps you relax because you sit quietly, close your eyes and slow down your breathing. Simply by doing this, my body and mind started to calm down and I definitely felt lighter and less frenetic. I guess sometimes we don’t realise how much we are darting around from one thing to another both physically and mentally and at a pace which there is really no need for the majority of the time.
I have to admit though it was frustrating. Focusing on your breathing and trying to clear your mind is a lot harder than it sounds. I started doing shopping lists, planning holidays and figuring out work conversations in my head. My body wasn’t always still either as I reached to scratch an itch and stretch my leg.
Again the realisation of how we are hardly ever still both physically and mentally really confronts you with a challenge. Just as the frustration started to get the better at me and I was feeling like I was just no good at this, the Calm app reminded me that this is completely normal to feel this way and the main thing is to start to become conscious of your thoughts and accept them. Then try and push them away and return to the breath.
I’m definitely much more aware of what, and how much, is going on in my mind and my body and trying my hardest to focus on breathing and letting go. In day to day life, I have to admit I have also noticed a shift – I am letting go a lot more and observing what is happening objectively without needing to control or change things. I’ve also let go of needing everything to be right all of the time – I’ll always be driven but I’m not letting this overtake me which has definitely left me more accepting of everything around leaving me with a greater general sense of calm. I had a break from the daily meditations over the weekend too and when I came back to it last night, I realised I had really missed it and felt much better after I completed yesterday’s session.
So, so far so good, but as each meditation ends, I’m more often than not still thinking what I’m going to cook for dinner later so some work still to do :)