Today I am mostly being mindful
Today I am putting into practice everything I have been learning over my lifetime about living in the moment, choosing your mindset and letting go of fear. It's hard. Tomorrow is my operation which really I know will be absolutely fine but a tiny part of me is worried it won't be. If anything it is a real lesson in how your brain can completely take over if you let it and you can create a nightmare in your head when in reality all you can work with is what you have and know today. It's another lesson in letting go - a lesson that confronts me again and again. I have no control over this operation or it's outcome and there's nothing I can do about that. When I practice acceptance of that my whole body calms down. In reality, I don't want to lose anything that I have today and it makes me scared. I am grateful for the people I love in my life, my friends, my work, my (otherwise) good health and the lovely things I get to experience every day however big or small. I love seeing the sunshine through the leaves this morning as I write this and that I was able to drop my little girl off at preschool without having to rush. Ultimately I am grateful, so so grateful. And really that's the way to look at this - the opposite of being worried and scared. Whatever happens tomorrow I love and am loved, and I'm so thankful for that.